the end of the road is not with me
by gustin puckerman
Summary: The doctor told them they were just one of those, you know? Being pregnant was not impossible, but it wasn't going to be easy either. June/James, with minor Ben/Chloe. one shot.


__**My first try. Been liking this show since forever but _especially_ since Ben made his appearance, and been liking this couple (June/James) since I laid my eyes on both of them together. I think they could work together so well, you know? Minor Ben/Chloe because they're just adorable together, okay? lol. I am also thinking of doing a one-shot, revolving around kids too, but a whole new other separate plot from this. Tell me what you think. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this**.

* * *

The first miscarriage was hard.

It happened during the night. James had woken up, realizing his wife was absent by his side and the light in the bathroom was lit up. They were trying lately, and June was confirmed pregnant just a week ago. He found her on the floor of the bathroom, sobbing and covered in blood. She refused to look up to James, ashamed.

But God, did she looked so vulnerable on the moment.

He texted Luther and helped June cleaned up a little - letting the water trickle down her thigh, washing some of the blood away while he tucked her close to his chest. He hushed her down, muttering the words he usually memorized out of a script. But he knew this time was different - this was from his heart, honest, genuine and pure. And all for his wife.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," she repeated, voice stuck in between her sucking breaths.

"No. Don't," his tone was harsh. His hand was gentle but his movement was firm as he pulled her small face to stare at him, "Look at me, June. Look at me."

She did. The sight was a heartache: eyes swollen, cheeks buffed-up, lips trembling. "You did _nothing_ wrong, you hear me? This was not your fault." His voice didn't even crack, his lips pressed against her forehead. "I love you."

He never let her go until the next morning.

.

The doctor told them they were just one of those, you know? Being pregnant was not impossible, but it wasn't going to be easy either. This shouldn't be hard to take, but it was. James thought it's because Chloe and Ben was _too_ fertile or something, like, they could have bunch of babies if they wish and James and June? They weren't as lucky. And this, apparently, bothered June.

Chloe and Ben were very stable in their relationship, going on very strong actually; screwing people in their ways and both were against the world together, and it was a great thing really. _Amazing_. But they weren't_ mentally capable_ of handling children, at least not like how June and James were ready for. But Fate is a bitch and Chloe and Ben were going to have a baby by the end of the year before they knew it.

They decided to give this 'try-for-a-baby' a break.

.

They didn't last when June broke down as soon as Chloe was hitting her fifth month.

"I mean, she was complaining how she was getting fatter and how she was so, so tired of her mood changes and stuff and I'm just _sitting there_ with my flat stomach, putting on a mask that I was happy for her! I couldn't believe it! She had the nerve of complaining when I'm just-"

James was holding her by now - arms around her petite body as she struggled, words muffled by her up-coming sobs and rebellious actions. He didn't tell her this was just hurting him the same. She kicked her legs and tried to free her arms - it didn't work. He was too tall and too large for her, but he had to give it to her: she had just the energy that tired him out more than a couple of times.

She finally sank down.

"- And I'm just. I'm just _not_, James." She blurted out, her voice was weak and her head was down. She was always ashamed, embarrassed of how she couldn't carry The James Van Der Beek's child. The gossips in magazines and blogs haunted her, he knew. Even when she plastered a plastic smile to cover it up. He'd always had a way of looking past her_ whatever-pretence_, she was always just a little bit easier to read.

He didn't let his guard down, but he made sure his voice was heard. "You are _perfect_."

She cried harder - it wasn't hard to tell she didn't believe him.

"June, June." He said, cupping her face in his palm. His fingers pushing her hair, his thumb wiping away her tears. Her eyes blinking up at him sadly. "I just need you in my life, alright? I marry you because I love you. Having kids, that's just - that would be a plus. But if we can't have any, that's totally fine. Cause I'll have you. I'll always have you. I never want to lose you. Never. You're perfect. With a child or not - I will always love you. Forever."

He kissed her because he meant it.

Every word.

.

The second miscarriage happened a day before Chloe announced her pregnancy, June told.

James was out-station, shooting for a new movie in LA, and she was almost a month pregnant. Knowing Luther was still around in New York handling James other business, she called for him. Luther and June kept it a secret until June confronted James himself. Chloe was at the end of her seven month pregnancy. Ben and her was arguing over the gender, still.

They had a big fight.

There were a lot of apologies, and_ I love you's_ and _you should have told me's_ and things were just a bunch of mess.

He cried.

She left.

He went drinking at a bar.

And that's when he met Kristina.

.

He didn't cheat on June, God no.

But he wanted to make her jealous - so they went out a lot. Kristina and him. They had fun. Kristina was tan and dark-haired and had thin lips and was a model, and James really did like him. Luther informed him that June was at Connie's house, and that he should probably go after her. He ignored him. Ben came and tried to knock some senses into him, but Kristina interrupted them and Ben was sent away.

Chloe. She didn't words.

She _acted_.

To be more precise, she slapped.

Early at seven month of pregnancy, she stomped her way into the club, in a dress that's very-well revealing her swollen belly, and slapped the hell out of him. He stood up, but before he could say his piece, Chloe talked first. He had known her, for far too long, that she didn't sugar coat her words. She cursed a few words out even though James was completely sure Ben had restrained her from doing so, but the woman needed to do what the woman needed to do.

"If I hear one more rumour about you breaking up with June, I swear to you James, I won't hesitate to break every bone in your body!" She turned towards Kristina on his right, "And you, you better watch out you little piece of shit. I may be huge as a house, but this feet are made to run over your skinny little body, pregnant or not. _Capisce_?"

He brought Kristina to his apartment and kissed her in the hallway. Until he realized he didn't want a tall model with tan skin and dark hair with him tonight, but a petite blonde with naive yet genuine spirit and a ring that matched his on her finger. He wanted his wife.

The moment he pulled away, rejecting the model, was the moment he saw June, crouching in front of the door of their apartment, eyes wide, staring at them.

June moved passed him in a beat.

.

He chased after June, nonetheless. Tracking her down for days, without any sleep.

He was coughing very badly by the end of the week, that by every time he coughed, Luther was checking blood on the napkins and had his personal doctor by speed dial. He refused to move, still. Ben came to check up on him, telling him how bad he looked and informed him of how his new movie was working out. Thanks for the recent publicity created by Chloe and Kristina, it was a hit. The movie got good reviews, mostly and the actors, that included him, was praised. It was going to be a blockbuster hit.

Then Ben was quiet. "James."

"Don't." He cut him off, "Don't stop me. I need to find her. I can't - I can't stop."

He coughed, Ben winced. "You look very terrible, mate."

"Stop. I can't." James gave the napkin over to a worried Luther, ignoring the respond. "June. I need to find her. I just - I'm -"

"She's at the apartment. With Chloe. She was hiding there all along."

Of course.

Hiding in plain sight.

Chloe must have taught her that. Damn Chloe.

"I need to - I must -"

"Calm down there, Jamesy" Ben stood up, holding his friend.

"No," James shook his head, resisting to just lie down. The alarm in his head went off : he found his wife. He finally found his wife. After so many phone calls, and web-searching and nights without sleeping, he finally found his June. "No. I need to get to her. I need her to know that I love her. That it's her." He stumbled on his feet, Ben caught him. "It's always been her."

"I'm worried about your health, J."

"I'm fine," he stressed the words out. "I just need to get to June."

Ben was thinking, but James was already grabbing out his jacket. "Alright. Whatever floats your boat. Just be careful there, friend. I need to run some errands, tell Chloe I'll be back with her cake."

James run.

.

By the time he gets to the door, he was coughing so bad, he thought his lungs were collapsing inside of his ribcage. Luther would shrieked until the paint on the wall scrapped off if he was there. He managed to knock on the door and composed himself anyway.

To his luck, June opened the door. "Did you bring back the cak-"

The smile on his face might be the biggest, and the most tiring to perform. His knees felt like giving out. He kept his pose, his heart flutters, his blood grow warmer : she was the most beautiful thing he saw in ages. "James," she stared at him.

"June-" his hand reached out.

Before he fell, and everything went black.

.

When he woke up to the hospital's ceiling, he thought he was dreaming. But the silent crying from June confirmed to him that he was living a reality - and that his wife was laying next to him, on the same bed, head rested on his chest and shivered with her tears like a child who just lost something precious. His throat was killing him and the headache was just testing him, but he hoarsed it out anyway. "I'm s-sorry."

June snapped her head. "James, you're awake."

He could only manage a smile, "How long have I been sleeping?"

"Sleeping?" She sounded surprised. "You were unconscious, you inconsiderate ape! For almost a day now, dammit. You nearly gave me a heart attack, James!"

James touched her face gently and she accepted it. "Babe," he breathed out, her hand tracing his. "I didn't mean to scare you. I was just -"

"An idiot. You didn't eat and sleep and you had a terrible cough and you had a horrible fever. You made Chloe screamed and ran back and forth calling _Mahatma Gandhi_ to save you. It was really scary," June pouted. "She's eight-month pregnant, you know? She wasn't supposed to be in that kind of situation."

"Did she get her cake?" He innocently asks, recalling what Ben said.

"Yes. Gladly." June managed a smile, an amused one. "She had been requesting one since forever. I mean, she would not stop. Which was weird because she just finished eating a cake just last week and -"

James kissed her.

"I'm sorry," he told her when they broke it off. A satisfied grin lurking on his lips, "I just miss you so much. And I'm sorry. The other girl - she's just. She's not. She's not you, June. I should have realized that sooner. I should have never let you go."

"I miss you too," June admitted, pushing a strain of her blond hair away. "And I'm sorry. For not letting you know. Luther's sorry too. He's very angry, by the way. Couldn't stop saying that her third magical black eye have fore-see this event of you getting sick a long time ago."

James chortles, despite the pain. "He's just paranoid."

"He kinda is." She smiled.

James leaned down and kissed her again. "I love you."

"I love you too."

.

_Justin_ Van Der Beek was the prince of June's heart and the missing puzzle in James' piece. He was born six months after Chloe gave birth to her and Ben's son, which made June was already pregnant three months before. They hadn't notice a thing until June started to show half-way throughout her fourth month, and that the fact she started to ask for weird foods, _constantly_.

Turned out, after learning to communicate, Chloe and Ben's son, Lucas _hated_ Justin. And Justin, that little chipmunk, was just having the best time of his life rubbing it off on Lucas' face by being a goody-too-shoo. James, he was so proud of his son that whenever the little bastard was in the room, he couldn't stop beaming.

Even Luther favoured Justin - if you managed to make him forget the time Justin pooped on his new Louis Vuitton, that is.

All and all, everything was good. The road to get where they are right now weren't simple, but it was definitely, without a moment of doubt, worth it.

.

_Fin_.


End file.
